yoohoo! hot sauce please
10:27, 7 September 2026 (UTC)
User:Taro: Difference between revisions
From 2swagg wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Add way more fortunes |
Way too many fortunes now |
||
| Line 97: | Line 97: | ||
<option>You have root. Use it wisely. Or don't.</option> | <option>You have root. Use it wisely. Or don't.</option> | ||
<option>Fortune not found. 404. This is also a fortune.</option> | <option>Fortune not found. 404. This is also a fortune.</option> | ||
<option>You will fat finger a command today. It will be fine. Probably.</option> | |||
<option>A moderator is watching. They are bored.</option> | |||
<option>The database is fine. It is always fine. Until it isn't.</option> | |||
<option>Someone will ask you to fix their PC. You will not.</option> | |||
<option>Deploy on Friday. Live dangerously.</option> | |||
<option>rm -rf is always one typo away.</option> | |||
<option>Your API key is in a commit somewhere. Find it before someone else does.</option> | |||
<option>A random extension will break for no reason today.</option> | |||
<option>The Cloudflare dashboard is lying to you right now.</option> | |||
<option>You will refresh this page fourteen more times looking for a good one.</option> | |||
<option>Somewhere, a cron job silently failed six months ago and nobody noticed.</option> | |||
<option>Your commit message will just say "fix".</option> | |||
<option>The wiki is held together by hope and one Pi.</option> | |||
<option>You will read the documentation this time. You will not.</option> | |||
<option>A guest will sign the guestbook with something unhinged.</option> | |||
<option>Ping is fine. It's everything else that's broken.</option> | |||
<option>Somewhere a test is passing that should not be.</option> | |||
<option>You will blame DNS. It will not be DNS. It is always DNS.</option> | |||
<option>A capcode means nothing without the will to use it.</option> | |||
<option>Today you will open twelve tabs and close none of them.</option> | |||
<option>The mods are asleep. Post the forbidden edit.</option> | |||
<option>Your password manager judges you silently.</option> | |||
<option>A wild memory leak has appeared. It is winning.</option> | |||
<option>This wiki has survived worse than you.</option> | |||
<option>Somewhere, a bot is trying your default admin password. It will not work. Probably.</option> | |||
<option>You are one config change away from taking down the whole site.</option> | |||
<option>The changelog says "misc fixes." Nobody knows what that means.</option> | |||
<option>A stray semicolon will cost you an hour today.</option> | |||
<option>Your uptime graph has a suspicious gap nobody talks about.</option> | |||
<option>Somewhere, someone is reading this fortune out loud. Hi.</option> | |||
<option>The site is up. Don't jinx it.</option> | |||
<option>You will forget to restart cloudflared at least once more in this lifetime.</option> | |||
<option>A janitor will delete something important by accident. It was probably fine anyway.</option> | |||
<option>Your favorite bug is still open. It always will be.</option> | |||
<option>Somewhere, a rate limit is about to be hit.</option> | |||
<option>The server fans are getting loud. Ignore them.</option> | |||
<option>Today's exploit was patched yesterday. There's a new one now.</option> | |||
<option>You will Google the error message and find your own old forum post.</option> | |||
<option>A wild staff meeting has appeared. Nobody attends.</option> | |||
<option>This fortune is 100% accurate 12% of the time.</option> | |||
<option>Somewhere, an intern just pushed straight to main.</option> | |||
<option>You are the intern. There is no intern.</option> | |||
<option>The mascot is judging your uptime.</option> | |||
<option>A very normal amount of caffeine was consumed today. Lies.</option> | |||
<option>Somewhere, a moderator argued about a capcode for forty minutes.</option> | |||
<option>Your next commit will break the build. Or fix everything. Flip a coin.</option> | |||
<option>The site has one true god and it is whoever pays the hosting bill.</option> | |||
<option>Today you will learn a new keyboard shortcut and immediately forget it.</option> | |||
<option>Somewhere, a ticket has been open since launch day.</option> | |||
<option>You will not read this far. If you did, hello.</option> | |||
<option>The fortune generator has run out of ideas. This is fortune number infinity.</option> | |||
</choose> | </choose> | ||
Revision as of 02:34, 18 September 2026
security lead • developer • 2swagg • est. Aug 13 2026 • still hasn't slept • welcome •
About
Taro (aka Taro) is 2swagg staff: the site's security lead and a developer. His capcode is ## Developer 
.
As security lead, Taro fixes bugs and keeps the site from breaking, and actively checks 2swagg's security on an ongoing basis rather than as a one-off audit.
● online 
This page is entirely real and not fake in any way. Trust.
- Kept the site from exploding (so far)
- Renamed self from Taro to Taro and lived to tell the tale
- Has root
- Once fixed a bug
Nobody. This section is empty because Taro has no enemies. That you know of.
Stats
| Stat | Value |
|---|---|
| Uptime | 99.9% |
| Bugs fixed | yes |
| Exploits found | some |
| Coolness | immeasurable |
| Coffee consumed | 3284 (might be more~!) |
| Cloudflared restarts survived | 127 (and rising) |
| Threat level | 42 |
| Root access | yes'nt |
This page alone has been viewed 979 times.
Fortune
Today is a good day to not touch production.
Webring
Guestbook
| Visitor | Message |
|---|---|
| Taro | made this page myself, 10/10 no bias |
| you | (sign below by editing this page, or don't, whatever) |
faggot owns this account JANNY ## Mod ## Mod 06:47, 7 September 2026 (UTC)
